Dialysis Sucks

Dialysis sucks.

(I am thankful it exists, but it still sucks!)

Steve was hospitalized all of last week due to complications with his kidney disease and ended up doing dialysis 4 times while he was there. If you look at his arm, you would think that I beat him. Up until last week he has only been doing dialysis once a week (typically people who are on dialysis do it 3 times a week). Steve started dialysis early because his symptoms were so severe they were effecting his quality of life.

Last week his kidney levels dipped down into renal failure and the decision was made to have him start doing dialysis twice a week. On Monday morning I drove him to the dialysis clinic. It was a somber drive, which is weird for us. I think the gravity of this disease must have been weighing on both of us. Typically Steve is making everyone around him laugh and I love to laugh! One of the reasons we are such a perfect pair. When asked what my favorite thing to do is in a job interview one time my answer was “my favorite thing to do is laugh!” Laughter is what has kept us going through the most difficult of days. There was not any laughing during that car ride though.

After dropping Steve off at dialysis, I cried on my way to work. My husband, my 32 year old, amazing, wonderful, loving, strong husband is on dialysis. Dialysis. Per WebMD “Dialysis is a life-support treatment that uses a special machine to filter harmful wastes, salt, and excess fluid from your blood. This restores the blood to a normal, healthy balance.” My husband is on a LIFE SUPPORT treatment twice a week for 3-3.5 hours at a time. Life support! That is heavy. Monday the gravity of this disease hit me harder than ever.

The hope of him no longer having to do dialysis is overwhelming. That I can potentially help that become a reality is so incredibly humbling. I look forward to the day when I hopefully will hear the words “you are a match!” Dialysis does not just effect the patient but every aspect of the patient’s life, including their family. Dialysis is so hard. Steve does an incredible job of staying positive but dialysis will weigh on the strongest of people. It weighs on me and I am not even the one doing it. I love him more than anything and I am hopeful for a day when he no longer has to do dialysis.



3 thoughts on “Dialysis Sucks

  1. I want you to know how much I absolutely love you! You are a brave, compassionate, strong, loving woman and I am so very proud to be your momma!


  2. Thank you for sharing your journey through chronic disease with us. Your story is powerful. Know that I, and do many others are lifting you in prayer.


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